The Next Life: Secrets
by Tatiana Winter
Summary: An AU AkuRoku Story. After all is said and done, of all of our beloved Kingdom Hearts characters, good and evil, none remain. All have died their noble and not-so-noble deaths, and have gone on to something better, perhaps even something grander.
1. The Next Life: Secrets

**Author's Note: **

Hello, this is my first foray into fan fiction, which is a genre that I honestly never thought I'd find myself writing. I was just reading updates on the new KH games ('cause I can't afford to buy the damned games/consoles), and fell right back into my old AkuRoku obsession. I needed a little break from my newest novel, and this is what fell out.

Make no mistake people, this story is about a boy x boy relationship, and I'm not changing it due to someone's bigotry, so if you don't agree then don't read it. Got it?

Anyway, this chapter is called Secrets, and part one is from Roxas's p.o.v. Just thought of it, and wanted to write it out. ;) Honestly, I never planned to write from Roxas's p.o.v., so this was a bit of a surprise for me, but there it is. The next one is from Axel's p.o.v. Not sure if/when you'll next see from behind Roxas's blue eyes, but I'm not ruling it out, at this point.

**Word Count**: 1356

**Disclaimer**: I obviously don't own these characters... if I did, I would be getting this published in book form. ;)

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><p>Roxas was having a bad day. His palms were sweaty, and he kept seeing... bright light coming from their centers. His teachers had told him that this sort of thing was to be expected, but that did not make this any easier for Roxas. Why hadn't he been one of those lucky ones without special abilities? He did not want to grow up to be the wielder of anything, let alone these special weapons they seemed to think him capable of someday holding, though the elders here were determined not to give name to them in his presence. 'You must find out for yourself,' they told him again and again.<p>

"What if I don't want to find out," he shouted to no one in particular. His words echoed down the empty hallway, then reverberated back at him causing Roxas's face to grow hot. He was still angry, but now he was embarrassed, as well.

Seeing a door to his right, he yanked it open without thinking to check who might be inside, flinging it aside like some unwanted object, and stomping through. However, the moment he saw what was on the other side, Roxas froze.

There on the floor, clothes singed almost completely beyond recognition, was Axel, and he was trembling so violently that Roxas thought he'd been, well... on fire or something just a moment ago. Roxas could not take his eyes off of Axel. He never could when the older boy was around, but this time he noticed details around the red head that made him worry more about Axel than about himself.

Round, once-wooden practice weapons were outlined in ashes on the floor beside Axel, his long, thin fingers outstretched towards them as though wishing they still existed in a less destroyed form. His black gloves, seemingly always covering his hands for Roxas had never seen him without them, were gone revealing pale skin beneath, and the line of wetness falling from his eyes revealed marks on the older boy's cheeks that Roxas had taken for granted before; triangular purple teardrops.

It seemed fitting that the boy in school who was so good at making everyone he disliked, which was just about everyone, feel miserable, would have teardrops on his cheeks that were facing the wrong direction. Almost as though they indicated that he had never and could never cry. Then again, here he was, and in the split second of time that it took Roxas to notice this, Axel began regaining his composure.

No, it wasn't his composure he was regaining, it was something else. The older boy began to breath faster, his eyes, which had been focused on his disintegrated practice weapons of choice, closed only to reopen immediately focused upon Roxas who still stood frozen in the doorway. Why hadn't he checked that the room was empty before storming in?

Roxas raised both of his hands before him, palms facing Axel, and inhaled to say... to say what? To say something that would clear this whole thing up, but Axel beat him to it.

"Get out," he shouted with a voice much steadier than Roxas would have imagined he was capable of considering his trembling was getting worse. The room was starting to feel sweltering, and Roxas was having a hard time breathing, so without even thinking, he spun on his heel and vaulted through the entryway, slamming it shut behind him.

He was about ten steps away from the door when he stopped. _Wait just a minute_, he thought, _who is Axel to order me around like that? I'm not just some puppet, and I don't take orders from anybody, especially not someone who treats me the way __**he**__ does_. He turned around again, intending to have words with Axel no matter how he felt around the red head, when what sounded like a battle cry erupted from the room. A moment later, an explosion rocked the corridor, and the ground trembled beneath Roxas's feet making him reach for the wall beside him for stability. What was that?

Then a sharp twinge stabbed at his chest: was Axel okay? He ran the remaining few steps, taking long strides to get to the door, and flung it open for the second time. What he saw inside made him gasp, and then cough when he inhaled the smoke within. "Axel," he choked out, trying to feel his way inside despite being unable to breath. "Axel, are you alright? Where are you?"

He felt his way around in the room to the place he remembered seeing the older boy last, and though he knew that this might just make Axel hate him even more, Roxas knelt down to reach for him. He had to make sure the older boy was alright, he just had to. There was animosity between them, yes, but Roxas also knew that Axel was important to him somehow. He could not bear it if... if...

His fingers located the delicate hand, which was surprisingly hot to the touch, and Roxas traced it down to an unmoving wrist to check for a pulse. Axel's skin was so hot that it was uncomfortable to even attempt to locate his veins, but Roxas found himself squeezing the skin almost in desperation. "Please don't be dead," he pleaded with Axel, gasping for air. "Please be alright."

Before he managed to find a pulse however, a hot hand grabbed hold of his wrist causing Roxas to jump, gasping and choking again on the slowly dissipating smoke. Two bright green orbs flashed at him, and he tilted backwards from them without thinking. "I don't need anyone's help," he heard Axel say, "Got that memorized?" Though the tone of his voice was angry, it was also weak and... he thought, a little surprised. The hot fingers released Roxas's wrist, and he pulled it into himself protectively, realizing that his palms were glowing... again.

He had to get out of here before the light really started shining, and then Axel would know his humiliating secret. Except that, well what was Axel doing in here anyways that could start a fire if he wasn't... if not for... Roxas looked up at the other boy's silhouette as Axel rose slowly to his feet. "You should go," he said, but Roxas only shook his head.

Realizing that Axel would likely be unable to see the action, he swallowed, and managed a 'no.' The older boy growled, and Roxas wondered why he was feeling so brave around him all of a sudden, or if he was just being really stupid. "Then I'll go," came the final growled remark, and he heard boots stomp angrily against the ground towards the door just before it slammed shut.

Roxas sighed, coughed, and then let his body fall backwards to the floor. He felt dizzy and he knew that he should get up before he passed out, but the light coming from his palms was getting brighter. The moment of hesitation would've been too long, but just then someone came in, hurried over to him, scooped him up, then lifted him and carried him out, before setting him on the floor outside of the room.

Gulping the fresh air in relief, Roxas opened his eyes just in time to see Axel's back, long black coat billowing behind him as he walked quickly away from Roxas down the hallway. It seemed that Axel could not leave him in harm's way either, though they would soon see if the older boy was capable of even more hatred than he had previously shown Roxas, for now the younger boy knew of his secret. Did Axel yet know that they shared it?


	2. The Next Life: Secrets II

**Author's Note:**

Secrets from Axel's p.o.v. Kindly drool over him with me. ^-^ ...or not. Whatever your preference is.

So, originally I wrote this in two parts. I guess we shall see how well they mesh together here.

**Word Count**: 1794

**Disclaimer**: Characters are not mine. If they were, I probably would be getting this published instead of posting it here... as I stated before. :P

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><p>The place on his wrist where Roxas had touched his skin still burned. It was the hottest spot on his body, and no matter what he did the feeling would not go away. Axel was cool though, he was calm; he was collected. He was going to burn everything around him until the day overtook the night! One after the other, the Chakrams flew from his hands, released to fly back to him, and Axel shouted with each throw.<p>

The fire that burned within his chest was unnerving. He bristled at this strange connection between him and some random boy who just showed up here last year, and fought against any closeness he seemed to automatically feel toward him. What was it that drew them together? This temperamental Roxas, this boy he barely knew, this rash child who could barely control his own emotions long enough to train with anyone.

If Axel were being fair, he'd admit that really Roxas was only a single year younger than he was, but Axel wasn't good at being fair, he was good at winning; surviving at all costs. This boy was just going to get himself, and those around him, hurt, and Axel had worked too long and too hard to let someone like that stand in his way no matter how he might have felt towards him.

The confusion only fueled the flames he felt, stroking the fire with a kind of hatred he didn't know he could feel for another being before Roxas. He should've left him there for someone else to find. He should've let the boy choke on the smoke he so willingly walked into. Why had he walked into that room? _For me?_

He flung the chakrams harder, metal lighting on fire without his noticing. Not that Axel really liked anybody, but he'd never truly hated someone before, either. What was it about this blond that made him feel... such strong emotions whenever he was near? He heard his shouts getting louder, but he didn't care. Whatever this was, Axel didn't like it, and he wasn't sure how to deal with it, either.

Surely there was a way to rid himself of the boy, but even the thought of that gripped his heart in an iron vice that ached throughout the whole of his being. He could not rid himself of Roxas, for the very idea, hated or no, hurt him. It seemed to distract him, too, as his own weapon spun back at him without his noticing, and he barely snatched it out of the air in front of him before it spun into his head.

That would've been inconvenient, he thought, eying the fire scorched metal. These were a little more deadly than his usual practice weapons. He looked at the circular objects that brought him such an odd sense of comfort, but jumped as the cool, yet upbeat, voice behind him interrupted his thoughts. "That's why you're _supposed_ to use the practice weapons, Axel. You know it's dangerous to work with those things unattended."

He turned around to face Lea before very obviously rolling his eyes. "I don't know what you're talking about," he drawled. "I had it under control. Did you actually see them; the fire? I'm getting stronger." He puffed out his chest, but his friend seemed unimpressed.

"You're getting weaker, too," he said, and the hint of worry in his voice made Axel angry.

"I'm fine," he snapped, spinning around and walking away from him. "It's everyone else who's getting weak." He could hear the other boy inhaling to respond, but Axel quickened his steps so that he didn't have to hear whatever Lea had to say next. That weakness was a secret, and no one knew about it except him; no one!

...except him... and Roxas. Surely, the boy wouldn't have said anything, but did Axel really know that about him? Whatever he felt and thought he knew, Axel didn't actually spend time around him, so these assumptions, if that's what they were, were useless without some experience to back them up.

Axel knew the secrets of just about everyone at this school, having frequently taken advantage of his knowledge to get him some advantage, but Roxas-was different. Axel had felt it necessary to steer clear of him, and he had done just that. However, what if that had been a mistake? Now that the boy knew his secret, Axel might just have to find out what the blond was hiding from everyone else, too. This one-sided advantage simply did not sit right with him. Perhaps he would go searching for him now, to-apologize.

The weather was getting cooler, though to Axel it was nearly always cooler outside than he felt. His classmates usually eyed him suspiciously when he passed them, probably wondering why he felt it necessary to wear the black gloves and long black coat year-round. He never felt cold exactly, but that didn't mean it was comfortable for the air to constantly be cooler around him than his body was.

He grinned now at a girl wearing summer attire as he passed who was eying his clothes wearily, and chuckled when she sucked in a breath and picked up her pace. The fear in the eyes of the students around him was oddly amusing now. In fact, Axel could hardly remember a time when he felt hurt by their dislike or distrust of him. It had seemed easy for other students to look at his appearance alone, and shun him for it; a practice he later used to cause fear and pain for them. It was only fair, after all, as they had caused him quite a bit of both for no reason he'd been able to discern.

Now, he had a reputation to uphold, and that reputation could so easily be brought down by one boy who'd seen too much. Didn't they all know by now not to disturb him while he practiced? Surely that would be a thing of the past if the boy shared what he knew about Axel's sessions in the training room. He was the only one always afforded privacy by the others, and he would not lose that now; not while the strange weakness was occurring.

He found Roxas sooner rather than later though, for, as he overtook a small hill near the path leading to the school, the sun glinted off of blond hair up ahead, and the wind carried two voices towards him even as it taunted Axel with its coolness. Not entirely sure what came over him, Axel sprinted for the nearest tree, ducking quickly behind it to listen.

"...**know** you said you didn't want to talk about it, but..."

"Just drop it okay, Sora. I **said**..."

"I know, I know, but come on. You could at least let me know if he attacked you! I mean... well, I told you to stay away from him, you know."

Silence followed this declaration, and the 'I told you so' in the other boy's tone irked Axel, though he couldn't quite say why. He felt an overwhelming urge to come to Roxas's defense, and it made the burning feeling in his chest hotter.

"I... he didn't attack me, exactly."

There it was. Axel needed to step in now before the scrawny little runt said too much; he really did. So why did he hesitate?

"What do you mean... _exactly_?" Sora was starting to sound annoyed, which should've made Axel grin, but instead he just waited for the response, gloved fists clenched at his sides.

"I- he... I think he... he was just practicing when I opened the door, and I think I surprised him. I didn't know he was in there, that's all. I **have** been staying away from him!" The last part came out defensively, Axel thought, exhaling the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding.

The other boy seemed to ignore Roxas's last sentence entirely, though, responding with, "And he just** left you there**? You could've been hurt!"

Axel sighed, not realizing that Roxas had done precisely the same thing before replying. "Well, you're always saying he's an ass, aren't you? An... inconsiderate, hostile, good-for-nothing, pain in the..."

"Alright," Sora interrupted with a laugh, and the two boys shared a chuckle that made Axel want to set fire to everything around him.

"I just..." Sora continued, but a noise to Axel's right drowned out whatever Sora said next. The red head spun, sweeping his hand in front of him as he did so and seeming to scoop the flames that appeared in his palm out of the air. When he finished turning, a very surprised and frightened Xion stood there, glare and fear competing for space in her facial features.

"What do you want," he snapped at her, refusing to lower his hand.

"Wh-what do **I** want," she countered, shaky at first but regaining some of her usual, faux swagger. "I think the question is, 'what do **you** want?' Eavesdropping on Roxas and Sora, are we?" Axel's chest skipped in an odd way, but he let out an unconcerned chuckle, nonetheless.

Raising his hand to his mouth, palm still up, Axel smiled. "Dear Liar- I mean, Xion. You should pick your battles more wisely. Got that memorized?" He inhaled, and as though blowing her a kiss, puffed out the breath of air sending flames along its path toward her face. The shriek that followed was remarkably satisfying, of course, and he watched her back for a moment, the chuckle still etched on his mouth, as Xion sprinted away from him and towards her other two friends.

Of course, the moment of amusement ended, not with the glare that Sora sent his way, as both boys turned to see what all the commotion was about, but with the look Roxas gave him. Axel returned the looks disliking how the anger in Roxas's expression made his chest hurt, and turned on his heal to go, missing the pain his own expression caused the blond boy he had carried out of a smoke filled room just a few short hours before.


	3. The Next Life: Words

**Author's Note:**

From Axel's pov, set a couple of weeks after the last chapter. Axel and Roxas have a bit of a verbal spat. Idk, I have inspiration for this, right now, it seems. This is another one that was originally posted in two parts, but that I thought worked better melded together. At least, this one works better than the last one did. ^-^

**Word Count**: 2381

**Disclaimer**: Characters are still not mine, so still posting this here. ;)

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><p>"You've been sulking for two weeks now. It's time to get out of bed; come on."<p>

Lea, whipped the blankets off of Axel's bed before the red head had fully woken up to the reality of his _friend_ being inside of his room without his permission. Axel felt his first instinct heat his entire body before really becoming conscious to what he was considering, and putting a stop to it. He had only ever actually burned one person before, and that had been an accident.

Not that he'd admit that to anyone. After all, Axel had a reputation to uphold, and with a history like that, when combined with the constant threats he offered those who pissed him off, like Xion a few weeks back, he was pretty sure no one would guess the truth; except maybe Lea.

"I have **not **been sulking," he groaned, rolling over, and wrapping his pillow over his face to block out the light. "Get out." He'd already forgotten about finding out how the other boy might've gotten in. _Axel had not been sulking_! He'd just been tired lately, and with his workouts getting more and more intense, causing him to pass out out more and more frequently, it was no wonder. He was **not **sulking.

"Yes, you are," Lea continued, not taking the hint. Something soft smashed into Axel's abdomen, and he growled in annoyance. "You've been avoiding every other student here, including me," he said with an air of ticking things off of a check list. "You've managed to just make your lessons, and slip out before anyone even starts packing up. You're never seen at lunchtimes, a first, I might add. You're only out in the practice yard at night, though how you expect no one to see a blazing fire at night is just lau-"

"I'm not sulking," Axel shouted, sitting bolt upright, and throwing the two pillows he'd previously held onto roughly in the other boy's direction. "Get out!"

"And you've been moodier than I've ever seen you," Lea said, obviously ticking off the last and most important point on his list as he easily snatched one of the pillows out of the air. "Maybe you should just go talk to him, Axel," Lea said, sighing and sitting on the edge of the bed.

Axel nearly threw something a bit more substantial at his friend for that, fists clenching so tightly that the black leather strained audibly across his knuckles. Axel had taken to sleeping with them on, since it seemed safer for the bedsheets that way.

"No," Axel answered in a low, dangerous voice that spoke volumes more about his feelings than any of the shouting he'd done before had.

Lea sighed, as though he'd been expecting that, but was still disappointed by the answer. "Well, at least come to lunch with me today," he suggested, pretending to just think of it. Axel inhaled to respond, but Lea cut him off. "Hey, you know I pretty much made myself incapable of gaining any friends in this place the moment I accepted you for you, right," he asked, making Axel squirm a bit. "Well, it's been kind of lonely eating lunch all alone."

The snort surprised Axel, even though it came from his own body. "I don't believe for a moment that you sat alone during any _one_ of those occasions," Axel said, knowing his easy-going friend too well to fall for that tripe.

Lea shrugged, "Doesn't mean I don't miss doing it with you, man."

Axel rolled his eyes, half wondering to himself when he'd last done that. "Fine," he said, sighing in resignation, "but only because you're a wuss." The pillow thrown his way, was sent up in smoke and burnt feathers before it came close enough to even leave ashes on Axel, and the somewhat shocked look that drew from Lea put the red head in the best mood he'd been in in quite a while.

After hastily getting dressed, it didn't really matter what he wore beneath the black coat, gloves, and boots, since only he and Lea would see it, Axel followed his friend out into the cold. Lea watched in amusement as steam rose from the red head's entire body, but Axel just rolled his eyes. "What, you forgot the last two years worth of winters here?"

"Nah," Lea said, "but it's still cool." Axel tried not to, but he couldn't help smirking a little at the comment. He would never say anything, but he kind of missed his friend these last couple of weeks.

The dining hall was packed, same as it always was, but Lea led the way, while Axel walked cool-as-could-be behind him. That was until he saw Sora and Xion, the latter of the two looking as though she was sporting a new haircut that made him wonder if he'd actually hit her with his flame-blown-kiss. The way she reached for her hair when she saw him confirmed his suspicions, and the resulting glares would have been funny if not for...

If they were present, Roxas wasn't far off, and Axel did not want to deal with this, right now. He turned to leave, but Lea, who must've anticipated this, grabbed his arm. "No, you don't, big guy," he called above the noise, "you said you were coming along."

"I'm just going to wait outside," Axel answered back, shaking his arm lose. "Grab me something, will you?" With that, he hurried out of the room without waiting for an answer, pushing the only person who didn't move fast enough roughly out of his way, practically sprinting across the hallway, and shoving the door to the school courtyard open in his haste to leave.

Of course, there framed in the entrance way, looking as though he'd barely managed to get out of the way of the swinging doors, was Roxas, and Axel barely stopped his momentum in time to prevent a collision before both boys froze.

There they stood, eying one another with a combination of distrust, dislike, and... something else. Axel regained his composure first, as usual, and began a sharp reprimand. "What..." but cut off when at the same moment Roxas offered a shy, "Hi." The younger boy blushed and looked down at his feet, while Axel stared at him open mouthed for a moment before audibly snapping his jaw shut. "What," he repeated, this time it was a question all it's own.

He thought better of it, though, and as Roxas lifted his chin to look at Axel, perhaps even answer him, the older boy continued on not sure he wanted to hear what the blond had to say to him. "You should watch where you're going, you know. I could've hit you with these doors." Roxas looked at him for a moment, searching him in a way that made Axel uncomfortable, though he refused point blank to fidget because of that look; because of _him_.

"I- yeah," Roxas finally replied, lowering his gaze. "Sorry."

Axel felt an overwhelming urge to wrap his arms around Roxas then, and the feeling made him angry. He had to get away from there before he did something rash. So, after looking at Roxas for an indeterminate amount of time Axel brushed past the smaller boy without another word, unable to look back as he did so, and headed straight for his group's favorite table. They didn't usually eat out there during the colder months, but Axel would be damned if he was going back into that building _today_.

Axel didn't look back, so he didn't see the blue eyed gaze that followed him to his desired seat, and missed the sigh of resignation that released a quickly dissipating fog into the air. The red head did, however, not remain oblivious to the pain it caused this smaller blond boy, who resignedly entered the building which Axel had just left, for that pain was in both of them; and Axel hated it.

The concerned look Lea had given him upon joining Axel at their summer lunch table annoyed him, and they had eaten lunch mostly in silence, as a result. Deciding to skip class for the rest of the day after that, Axel waved his friend off, and headed back to his room. No one really needed to learn about the histories of the Kingdom anyways, did they? What boring stuff that was. Besides, he wouldn't even be able to fake any focus today.

Entering the hallway of his dormitory, Axel was just considering doing some work with the Chakrams when Roxas appeared in front of him. Surprised, the taller boy stumbled to a stop, and eyed the blond boy with apprehension, half thinking him a mirage. "I didn't-," he began, flustered, but he composed himself quickly. "What are you doing here," he demanded, frustrated by his own slip.

Roxas took a deep breath, squared his shoulders, and took a step closer to Axel, which almost made the red head take an involuntary step back just to avoid the proximity the move had given them. "I don't much appreciate you lighting my friend's hair on fire," he said, his voice louder than Axel had ever heard it before.

Despite himself, Axel let out a laugh that echoed down the hallway. Was Roxas seriously trying to stand up to him, and without his usual entourage? He puffed out his chest, a habit the taller boy had when dealing with any confrontation, and began to nonchalantly roll up his sleeves, just in case. "Well," he countered, "I don't appreciate her sticking her lying nose in my business."

Roxas furrowed his brow at that, pausing to consider Axel's words. "The way I hear it," he finally countered, meeting Axel's heated gaze with an almost cold one of his own, "it was you who was sticking _your_ nose into _our _business."

A flash of light made Axel look around the hallway, thinking that someone had entered behind them. Upon seeing no one, however, he turned back to face Roxas, only to notice that the blonde's hands were clenched at his sides. He clenched his own in response, ignoring the look of surprise on the smaller boy's face, and added, "I was just making sure you weren't sharing things that were not your right to share."

The surprise on Roxas's face turned into something else, softening, as he loosened his fists slightly. "What," he replied. "I would never-"

But Axel cut him off, "How was I supposed to know that?"

"You could have asked, instead of walking away like a Heartless, leaving me there to die!"

"You weren't dying," Axel said in a mocking tone. "You were breathing just fine, I checked."

The comment made both of them freeze for a moment, and Axel, not believing he'd just admitted to that, took in Roxas's widened, blue eyes feeling a kind of apprehension he wasn't used to feeling. "Well, if I killed someone on campus, they wouldn't let me keep coming to this school, would they," he blurted out, trying to make sure Roxas didn't get the wrong idea. He refused to admit that he had no where else left to go.

The boy across from him merely nodded, while studying Axel with a look on his boyish features that the red head wasn't sure he liked all that much. "Axel, maybe we should talk in ther-" Roxas began, while simultaneously indicating a door that had the older boy's name etched into the wood.

"No," Axel answered a little too quickly, interrupting the rest of the blonde's sentence, but wincing a little at the hurt look it caused. "I have things to do, right now."

"What things," Roxas retorted, fists clenching at his sides, again. "We're skipping class, right now, to have this conversation!"

"No," Axel fired back, "_you're_ skipping class, right now, to have this conversation. I never agreed to have it!" His chest began to rise and fall more rapidly, but then so did Roxas's.

"I told them you were different, that they'd made the wrong assumptions about you. I defended you," the smaller boy shouted.

"I never asked you to, did I," Axel shouted back, despite himself. His leather gloves protested, as he tightened his fists, which sat at the ends of rigid arms by his sides. "I don't need anyone's help!"

"That doesn't mean you have to hate everyone," Roxas fired back.

"Yes, it does," Axel spat, and was surprised at the amount of weight those words seemed to place upon his opponent, for the moment they left his lips, Roxas deflated like a balloon that had just been punctured.

"So," he started, looking down at the floor, "you _do_ hate me."

"What, no I-" the words were out of his mouth before he could stop them, and just as he snapped his mouth shut with an audible click, Roxas snapped his chin back up in response to the words that had escaped, searching Axel's eyes.

The older boy faltered, stepping quickly towards the smaller boy and then past him in two steps, before adding, "I... have something to do. Just... we'll..." He opened his door, glanced once at the perplexed and hopeful look on Roxas's face before shutting it behind him with a snap. _**No?**__ What did I mean by that?_ He leaned against the door, breathing hard for several minutes, and trying to decipher the strange feeling in his chest that reminded him of the kind of fire that could leave marks on even his skin.


	4. The Next Life: Words to Dreams to Words

**Author's Note:**

The next chapter, a break in the Words series, and an explanation for Words III, which is coming soon. The title is long, I know... originally it was just going to be called 'Words to Dreams,' but the next chapter decided to write itself in my head before I ever finished this one. So you got the improvised title. :P

I haven't proofed this properly, and only did minimal rewrites so ... beware. If I catch something, or you do, I'll edit later. ;)

Disclaimer: Characters are still not mine; they've just chosen to exist for a while in my mind.

**Word Count**: 1268

**Disclaimer**: Characters are still not mine, so still posting this here. ;)

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><p>Two boys in two separate beds from two separate dormitories woke at the same moment, sitting bolt upright in the same instant, and whispering the other's name at the same time.<p>

"Axel," breathed one.

"Roxas," asked the other.

To Axel, the dream had seemed so real; more like a memory than a dream, really. He shook his head, red hair falling into his eyes, before slumping back onto his pillows to consider the whole thing. He'd been having that dream ever since he could remember, but this was the first time he'd seen Roxas in it.

_...he felt weak; defeated. Heat surrounded him as the smoke dissipated around the circle. A figure, silhouetted yet only a short distance from him, approaches. Axel knows this is someone important to him, someone he did all of this for; someone he'd die for. Someone he was dying for now, in a way. _

_"Let's meet again in the next life..."_

He'd never liked that dream, but it meant... something to him. It hurt him the way that being around Roxas sometimes did, which is why he avoided the little runt. However, the dream had always ended there. _...in the next life. _It had always annoyed him, but it was not the only dream he'd ever had on the matter. However, this one... this one was important. He would never have anticipated the next part, the newest scene.

_"Yeah," Roxas had answered, standing as Axel knelt only steps away from him, defeated. "I'll be waiting." _

That wasn't reality! In what universe would that little blond kid ever defeat him? Okay, so Roxas was only a year younger than him, Axel knew that, but he could not help viewing the blond as a kid whenever he was feeling antagonistic towards him, the way he was just then. _Silly_. Axel sighed.

_Silly... "Just because __**you **__have a next life..."_

As he reflected on these memories, these dreams, something in his chest wound up like a painful ball, and tried to force its way up his throat. Axel gritted his teeth. No one had any right to make him feel this way; no one! He didn't need anyone else, and he hadn't survived all this time just to find someone else. He was strong all on his own, dammit!

He sat back up, pushing the strange feeling of grief back down where it belonged, and flung the covers off of his bed. He had to get up now. Axel could not just sit here thinking about that dream any longer; he didn't like the kind of burning it was causing inside of him.

He rose from his bed, and searched for his coat, throwing whatever he came into contact with violently out of his way as he looked. Axel needed to get out, he needed to stop thinking for a little while; he needed his chakrams. His hands fell on the round, metal weapons first, before he located his coat, and he grabbed hold of them.

The smoothness of their edges was comforting, but also wrong somehow. He moved to shove aside the sketches he'd been working on of a new weapon, like his traditionally smooth chakrams except with a twist, as well as a sharp spike or two, and for some reason he couldn't bring himself to crumple the paper. So, instead, Axel set the sketches on the edge of his bed before resuming the violent search for his worn leather overcoat and boots.

Once he located them and was clothed, Axel left his dorm room as quietly as he could manage it. Usually he didn't give a damn if he woke someone else up in the morning, after all if he was up then they should be as well, but he truly didn't want confrontation or company today.

The moment he slipped out into the cold morning air, he took a deep breath, feeling it wash over him, if not through him, and began the walk to the training platform. The grounds appeared to be empty, except for a few stray birds, but Axel listened for the noises of other students, nonetheless. He never liked being surprised, but today would be a particularly bad time for it to happen.

He climbed the hill to the training platform, conscious all the time of how wrong his simple metal circlets felt in his hands. They had felt that way ever since he'd first picked them up to train with them. It was a feeling that was both right, and horribly, horribly wrong, at the same time.

These were traditional chakrams, something his first trainer liked to point out constantly; this was how they were _supposed _to look. Axel was pretty sure, however, that this was not the way they were supposed to feel, not for him. He could spend some time making his own, but he'd need to find the materials for it. It wasn't as though they were just lying around the school, and he didn't have much money to go buy any of the things he needed. So he wasn't exactly sure when he would be able to do it, only that he needed to try.

Surpassing the hill, Axel planted both of his black-booted feet firmly onto the platform, closed his eyes, and inhaled, pulling as much of the cold air into his body as he possibly could. Then, remembering the reason he'd needed to come up here so badly in the first place, Axel let his body warm up, feeling the heat as it easily overpowered the cold within him.

That was when he heard it. A shuffling noise, two footsteps on the other end of the platform, and a deep breath. He snapped his eyes open, angry, and spotted Roxas, who began tentatively shifting his feet a short distance away from him.

There was something strange about the way the younger boy looked at Axel just then, a hesitation in combination with something else that the older boy wasn't sure he liked. He watched as Roxas steeled himself, stepped forward, and asked, "Axel?"

The way that one word, his own name, made him feel when said by Roxas hurt him in some way that he could not even begin to understand, at that moment. It pulled at him, tearing at something, some wall he'd put in place to avoid feeling something just like this. Anger and heat burned hot in his veins, building up behind the feeling, and threatening to overpower it; burn it away. He didn't want to feel this way, at all, let alone because of someone else. He snapped.

"Why won't you just stay away from me," Axel shouted, and to his surprise flames shot up from the ground in a circle around him. They engulfed him, and shut Roxas out.

Startled, Axel stared at the flames for a moment, reminded of the dream, and the feeling of pain it sent through him nearly knocked him to his knees. He had to consciously force himself to calm down, to control himself, and only then could he could make the fire vanish. When he did Roxas was already halfway down the hill, sprinting away from Axel as fast as the blond's legs would carry him.


	5. The Next Life: Words III

**Author's Note**: The final part to Words... most likely. Now to wait until more inspiration strikes. We shall see what happens next. Sorry it's so short. I wanted to finish the fourth part of this chapter with a bang, and this is what came out…? Hope you like it, anyways. ^-^

**Word Count**: 980

**Disclaimer**: Characters are property of KH creators, no matter where they have currently chosen to take up residence.

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><p>He wasn't sure why he was doing it. Honestly, he <strong>had <strong>wanted the other boy to leave him alone. The dreams, the strange feelings, the way he lost control seemingly whenever Roxas was nearby; these could not be good things, could they? No.

So why was Axel chasing him down in the dawn hours, feeling like everything might end if he didn't catch up? Surely, there was some form of insanity involved that the red head should examine within himself before he did something rash. Something like reaching out, and grabbing hold of the younger boy's arm and pulling him to a stop. Well, it was hard to think ahead when you outpaced someone one step to every three of their own.

"Let go of me," Roxas tried to shout at him, but his words were swallowed before he could really push them out. That was when Axel saw the tears, and he had to resist the urge to release the boy as though he were a poisonous snake about to strike him. Why he fought this urge at all was still a mystery to him, and the tall, red head was almost consumed by the idea of just turning away and letting Roxas go.

"I... can't," Axel said, both to himself and to the boy in front of him.

They looked at each other for a moment, both trying to decipher what he meant by that, and both knowing that if Axel had let go of Roxas's arm the latter would've kept on running. Who knew what would have lain down that path now, but neither seemed capable of imagining it.

"Look," Axel said, still gripping the boy's arm, "I didn't mean to ... you know; back there. I can't always..." Axel trailed off, sighed, and then shut his eyes and admitted, "I can't always control it. That's not something you're to tell anyone about, you hear? Sometimes, I just get angry, and... stuff like that happens." Opening his eyes, he let go of Roxas's arm, and added, "Sorry."

He waited for the smaller boy to shout at him, to throw the gesture in his face like so many supposed friends before had done here, and Axel braced himself for it. He'd let himself open up, let himself feel something for a moment there, and that had never ended well before.

Taking a step back, Axel gave Roxas the space to do whatever he wished, and waited. He realized this time that he was holding his breath, and as the smaller of the two stepped towards him, instead of away, he let it out in a relieved sigh as he met Roxas's eyes. Axel still wasn't sure that he wanted to be here, but he also knew that it felt more right to be here than it would have to let Roxas keep running.

The silence stretched between them both for a moment, and Axel continued, for once being the first to bring up something that might make them both uncomfortable. "I'm sorry," he repeated, then sighed again before going on. "It just reminded me of this dream I've had, and the fire ... I really didn't mean to shut you out that way. It seems so cruel now, even to me. Even pinning you in with me would have been better than that."

Roxas's eyes widened, and he stared at Axel in a sort of daze for a long time, opening his mouth, and then closing it again as though he wanted to respond, but could not.

"Listen," Axel said, feeling as though he was interrupting even though the younger boy hadn't spoken. "Let's call a truce, okay? We can still avoid one another if you're more comfortable with that, but we can be... less antagonistic about it."

"I was never antagonistic to you," Roxas snapped, before biting his lower lip as though wishing he hadn't said that out loud.

Axel grinned, despite himself, feeling warm in a way he wasn't used to feeling. "True," he said, "but _I'm _the one who has to remember this."

Roxas actually smiled at him then, and they both stood there grinning and feeling as though they were in some odd kind of stupor before rudely being snapped out of it by a noise to Axel's right. He moved his hand preparing to summon the flames like he did whenever anything surprised him, but Roxas grabbed his wrist, causing Axel to turn his attention sharply back to the blond beside him. Just because he'd called a truce did not mean he'd given anyone permission to touch him.

"It's just Xion," Roxas said. Axel assumed that his declaration had been loud enough for even the little lying sneak to hear, because she stepped out from behind the tree she had been hiding behind just a second later.

The knowing grin on her face did more than a little to rekindle Axel's prior anger, and he yanked his arm away from Roxas before he thought about what he was doing. "Sorry," he mumbled, before turning his back on the irritating girl. It was one thing to accept one new person he wasn't sure about, but it was something else entirely to spend time around another whom he _knew _to be untrustworthy.

So, giving Roxas an apologetic grin, Axel muttered a low, "see ya around," before following his and Roxas's tracks back up the hill to the training platform. It might do him some good to practice. After all, that _had been the reason he left his room so early this morning, and now he was going to make the most of it. _


	6. The Next Life: Anger

**Author's Note**: Another one from Roxas's point of view... this one surprised me with its insistence, but there you have it. The next part. I renamed this chapter several times, and I still don't know if 'Anger' is the right name for it. Hopefully, it'll work for the next part, too, but... I may end up changing the title later. Anyhow, the next chapter is already planned, and has already begun. So those who want to keep up with this story have no need to worry... I'm already working on it. Be warned: this is long, and I only proofed it once. I'll do more rewrites later, when I have more time.

**Word Count**: 1857

**Disclaimer**: If I owned these characters, I'd live in a much nicer place than I do now. As I do not, I must not own them.

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><p>"Ow," Roxas shouted, watching his own blood trickle down his arm. "What is wrong with you!" He hadn't cried out when the actual hit had landed, but seeing the results of the wound made him angry.<p>

"Sorry, sorry," Xion practically sang, pleading and smiling at the same time. She didn't _look _sorry. Roxas glared at her, and she balked.

Before either could say anything more, Sora came running up with a bandage kit, something they were required to have with them and fully stocked if they were sparring on their own. The brunette grabbed Roxas's arm, gripping it firmly as he checked out the wound, and then released it. "It's fine," he said, rolling his eyes, but the relief in Sora's voice was palpable. "It's minor, but... I **told **you guys this would happen!"

Roxas growled and snapped, "Axel does this all the time! So do the Thirteen! We can do it just as well."

"Neither of which," Sora raised his voice to be heard above his friend's arguments, "are the best exemplifications of anything we should be aspiring to imitate. We should've been in study hall with the rest of our class."

"But they're the best fighters here," Roxas said, ignoring the last bit, and throwing his arms up in complete exasperation before wincing as the action stung his shoulder. With a sigh, his brunette friend eased his arm back into position for treatment, but said nothing. Sora was good with bandages and cuts, and the blond sulked while his friend wrapped his new injury.

Xion giggled, causing both boys to snap their chins up, and look at her. "So, your little meeting the other morning really **was **something special, huh? Didn't want to talk about your new boyf-"

"I swear to the _Kingdom_, Xion! Shut **up **about that, already," Roxas snapped, the venom on his lips was also in his piercing blue eyes, and caused a rather satisfying flinch from the girl standing over him. "There was nothing to talk about. Nothing at all that was your-"

"None of my business," she snapped back. "I got it! Too bad your new _boyfriend _couldn't have been someone worth wasting all of your newfound energy on. I don't see him around anywhere, do you?"

The grin that spread across her face at that was cruel, causing Roxas to stand up abruptly nearly knocking Sora over as he finished the bindings. "You know, Xion," the blond boy growled in a low voice, "I can see why he hates you so much. I'd be surprised if he was the only one in this school who called you a _liar_."

Xion's mouth fell open as though Roxas had slapped her, and he heard her and Sora both inhaling to respond. He was not, however, in the mood to listen to what either one had to say, so he threw his practice weapon at the center of the sparring floor, and stomped out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

He stood there for a moment, squeezing his eyes shut and breathing heavily, before snapping them open a second later when the sounds of steps floated towards him from the other side of the door. No, he was not having this argument with either of them, right now. He was **not **in the mood. So, heart pounding in his chest, Roxas took off down the hall, and sprinted around the corner before ducking behind a nook between a set of lockers. He felt childish hiding from his friends this way, but he really, _really _didn't want to talk to Xion, anymore.

Why did she have to say the things she did? She always seemed to know precisely how to make him completely uncomfortable. He could have... well, Roxas wasn't exactly sure what he could've done, but smacking her across the face with is practice blade had seemed like a really good idea when he'd stormed out of the sparring room. He knew she was his friend, but Xion had _really _been pushing his buttons lately.

After a few more minutes, Roxas stepped out of his hiding place feeling both silly and relieved that his friends probably wouldn't find him. He checked the hallway, which seemed clear of other students and school faculty, before turning and continuing to move even further away from that damned practice room.

He was still seething. He clenched his fists and ground his teeth as he walked, Xion's words echoing back to him even this far down the hall. _"So, your little meeting the other morning really __**was **__something special, huh?" _

Her words made him cold deep in his core, a feeling he associated with anger, lately. "_Too bad your new boyfriend couldn't have been someone worth wasting all of your newfound energy on._" Roxas growled at the empty hallway, swinging his arm hard, and smacking a locker with a resounding crash of metal. "_I don't see him around anywhere, do you?_"

He elbowed another set of lockers, before punching the ones beside those in a continuous spin, before slamming his back against the next random set of lockers, and stopping. The blond boy barely even felt the pain this caused him, as he tilted his chin up and let his head fall back against the cold metal with yet another thud. He stood still, trying to ignore the echoes that bounced off the walls, and sighed deeply.

She was right. He hadn't seen Axel since that morning over a week ago, and strangely enough Roxas missed him. Well, it wasn't exactly strange considering how drawn to the older boy Roxas had always felt, but he had resigned himself to being ignored for so long that he should've been okay with not seeing Axel for a while. It had only been ten days! The truce had just seemed to have... gotten his hopes up.

Roxas inhaled again before pushing all of the air from his lungs. He could feel something building in him, and he knew by now that it was not going to be pleasant. Looking down at his palms, he slowly opened his hands to stare at the light they held within them, and wishing with all his heart that this whole thing would just go away. Why couldn't he just go to the regular school three miles away from his house instead of being stuck at this stupid boarding school like some freak?

He clenched his fists again, and ignored the whooshing noise in his ears, trying to force the rising cold inside of him to recede. That's when he heard the footsteps. Roxas sighed, knowing that his friends had caught up to him, and an apology was probably necessary whether or not he actually **felt **sorry. However, just as he was inhaling to voice it, a deeper voice that made his insides turn to ice spoke up instead.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't little sunshine Roxas. Where are your little friends, Roxie-baby? Did they give you permission to come out all by yourself today?" Roxas flinched the older boy's nickname for him, but steeled himself as he turned to face Saïx and the rest of the Thirteen.

"Hi, Saïx," he said, trying to sound amicable, but knowing that never seemed to work. "How's your training coming along?" The group of boys seemed to all snicker as one at that, as though the smaller blond boy had said something mildly amusing to them. He sighed, bracing himself for whatever they were about to throw at him now.

The Thirteen was a group that had seemed to take a complete disliking to Roxas the moment he'd arrived, right around the same time that Axel had started hating him. There never seemed to be a shortage of bigger boys who loathed him at this school; another reason Roxas hated it so much.

Saïx face split into a wide wicked grin, and he shoved the smaller blond roughly back against the lockers, causing pain to shoot across Roxas's back. He tried to keep quiet despite that, knowing how much more they'd tease him if he let even a wince appear on his face.

"What's it to you, Roxie," the older boy asked, and was echoed by a couple of his giggling friends behind him. Roxas sighed, unsure of how he was going to get out of this. Saïx was right that he usually had some friends to back him up, or witnesses to keep the older bullies in line. A consequence of leaving any lesson early was that there were often neither present.

"I was just-" he began politely, but was cut off.

"No one cares what you were _just_," Saïx cut him off, then paused. "What are you doing out here all alone, Roxie-baby? Shouldn't you be in class," he sneered. "Or in one of your little kid training sessions?" The older boy smiled before spreading his arms, almost as if to shrug, but using the gesture to indicate his little group, instead.

"See," he added, "we're today's hall-monitors, and we don't think little kids who skip class should get off so easy."

Roxas heard echoes of the words 'hall-monitors' and 'easy' along with some deep chuckles that made his body freeze, anticipating what was coming. At that moment, Saïx stepped forward and punched him hard in the gut, shoving all of the air from the blond boy's lungs, and forcing him to bend over.

"Oh, come on," the older boy laughed. "I barely touched you." Of course, he punctuated his words with an elbow to the middle of Roxas's back, which knocked him to the floor.

Sprawled at anyone's feet was not a place Roxas could remain, whether or not he could breath. He knew better by now; knew that if he stood back up, Saïx would hit him harder. He knew that staying down was a safer bet, and that the older boy would stop hitting him sooner if he just laid there.

However, the idea of staying at the feet of some older boy just to head off some of the beating felt so... cowardly. Roxas couldn't just lie down on the floor like a creature of the dark to avoid a slightly worse ass kicking, so he pushed himself onto his hands and knees, steeling himself for what would come next. Then, taking a deep breath, he pushed himself onto his feet, and turned to face Saïx, ignoring the pain that shot through his back. The younger boy knew what was coming, and the group in front of him started to 'ooh' and 'ah' as though no one had ever stood back up to face their new leader before, seemingly ignoring all the times before that Roxas had done it.

It didn't matter though, because he would be beaten severely for it, and everyone present knew it. So, as the laughter died down, Roxas tensed, bracing himself for the next blow, and wondering just how much he would be able to take before he woke up somewhere unpleasant, again, wishing all the while he knew enough to fight back.


	7. The Next Life: Anger II

**Author's Note**: Well, I hadn't intended on writing the next part so quickly, and I was actually struggling with this one a lot. So hopefully it lives up to expectations. The history between Saix and Axel will come out later, maybe. Be warned: I did a once-over with this one, but I was distracted so it's possible I missed errors in there. I'll do some more rewrites when I have more time.

**Word Count**: 2245

**Disclaimer**: I do not own these characters... stating the obvious makes me less creative.

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><p>Lea had been insufferable ever since Axel had shared with him the events from that morning. Well, not all of them, of course. The dreams were, and had always been, private. Plus, there were also a few details that might have been skewed to Axel's advantage, like the size of the flames, and who had been more willing to talk things out. He had a reputation to uphold, after all. From what Lea'd been teasing him about, however, the red head was sure that his friend saw through all of his little white lies.<p>

Of course, Monday arrived with the news that his trainer had decided to take things up a notch, giving him practically no free time, or even regular time for class work. The upside was that he didn't have to sit through a couple of his more boring classes some days, like that history one, but the downside was that he was always on the brink of exhaustion. What was the old fogy trying to prove, anyways? Axel was good, everyone knew that, and it wasn't like he was graduating at the end of the year.

Perhaps the old man knew that his red haired charge had been holding back during their sessions, but honestly the man also had to know that Axel would not push himself to the point of fainting in front of another living creature ever. He would not show weakness in front of this man, or anyone else.

That hadn't stopped every adult he had to work with from pushing him so hard that he'd felt like he might fall asleep during walks back to his dormitory every evening, though. If he hadn't been taking it easy, Axel would've collapsed during his sparring sessions, for sure. It made the lanky boy wonder if his trainer knew he'd been taking it easy, and was trying to prove something to him. If it was that Axel was just as weak as the other kids at this school, the red haired boy was starting to think that the old man was succeeding.

He sighed, shuffling his feet toward the lunch hall to grab food before the other students were out for their midday break. His last training session was over for today, but he still had to go to class after lunch; a class he was seriously considering skipping, again. He was just so damn tired.

The slamming of a locker door made Axel stop short, cursing silently to himself for dragging his feet, and making the tired assumption that he had not heard the bell ring. Now he would have to share the lunch hall with all of those loud and obnoxious idiots who shared this campus with him. He started to growl under his breath, but the sounds of a jeering voice pulled him from his own irritations. Was that Saïx's voice?

Axel picked up his feet, though the effort of doing so made the fatigue all the more pronounced to him, and crept to the edge of the hall to listen. The surprising part wasn't that he was hearing Saïx bullying some poor, defenseless kid, it was hearing said kid's name as soon as he stopped moving: 'Roxie-baby.'

_Oh please_, the red head thought, _don't be __**him**_. He knew better, of course, because it'd been Axel who had originally invented that nickname for the slightly feminine, baby faced young boy who'd shown up last year looking far too young to attend any school these guys were going to.

Axel had actually missed the younger boy, thinking that calling a truce would give him a small excuse to see Roxas a bit more often. Of course, he hadn't thought of that until afterwards, but the older boy was finally starting to weaken on the matter. He could feel it in the way his own body felt; a different kind of fire burning in his chest. Axel recognized that feeling as the same kind of thing that was capable of causing him real pain, and he did not like it. How long could he really ignore it, though, when fighting it seemed to cause him just as much pain?

A small part of him jumped back into life at the sound of that name, in conjunction with a gasp of pain, and the tall red head flinched, feeling his body heat up as he listened to the outcome. He was too weak just then to step in, and if he knew it then Saïx would, too.

Saïx, the red head rolled his eyes just thinking about him. Even though the group's founder, Xemnas, and some of its older members had graduated already, the Thirteen still kept their old name, despite being several short of the number. Axel's old friend just didn't want to give up the reputation that came along with that name, even if he had about seven boys now, himself included.

He knew that the smack against the pavement had been Roxas because of the sounds of laughter coming from the seven boys, and Axel clenched his fists, fingernails digging into the palms of his hands without his noticing. He still didn't fully understand why he cared. What happened to this kid was none of his business! Why did it bother him so much that his old... partner was beating Roxas up now?

Stepping forward, Axel told himself it was because this was part of why him and Saïx parted ways. He justified his determined steps by remembering that his former friend had turned cruel, and that he, himself, had just never been able to see the point in needless heartlessness. Associating with the Thirteen had been a way to take the heat off of himself, but that didn't mean he was okay with attacking every new student who seemed just a little bit too small or too different. After all, Axel had been one of those during his first year, and though he often hated everyone around him for it that didn't necessarily mean he wanted someone else to go through that.

He didn't even care what happened with the group anymore now that he was no longer apart of it, or what they did to anyone else so long as neither party bothering him in any way, usually. Axel had long since separated himself from the rest of the student body, acknowledging that they would always look at him differently, and learning to hate them for it.

"Saïx," Axel said, nodding his head in greeting as he came up to them. He watched from the corner of his eye as Roxas froze. "What are you doing with my new sparring partner, ha?" _What am I __**doing **__here? _

"Hey, Axel," Saïx said, offering his old friend a high-five, but Axel just looked at his raised hand until he dropped it to his side. The other boy shrugged, "Just havin' a bit of fun," he answered. "You know, like old times."

"Well, your _fun _is going to have me short of a practice partner, and I don't much appreciate you injuring him before I even get to fight him."

Saïx gave Axel a hard look at that, and the red head had to force himself to keep a straight face. Anger, right now, would solve nothing. He was too tired to do anything except talk his way out of this one, and he couldn't let his old friend know that.

The taller boy, Axel had outgrown nearly everyone in school over the summer holiday, shrugged. "You know how I felt about the old times, Saïx," the red head added in as amiable a tone as he could muster. He didn't really know why he was so angry just then.

The other boy turned his head and spat on the floor, before giving Axel a glare the could've frozen an ocean, might have if the taller boy didn't run a little hotter than normal. Before Saïx could do anything rash, however, Axel turned on his flames. Not enough to wear him out or to show any weakness, but just a little bit so that his old friend would remember what he was dealing with. His arm raised slightly, he played with a handful of flames, which emerged from and danced in the palm of his hand.

Saïx eyed him for a minute, his lackeys standing behind him as though awaiting his commands. "You've changed, Axel," the other boy said.

"So have you," Axel replied, implying more than he would ever say in front of these goons. Oh, how Saïx had changed.

Looking around at his friends, Saïx spat on the ground again before turning his back on Axel, but paused before walking away and turned to look back at Roxas. "Oh, Roxie-baby," he cooed, "your friend here won't always be around to save you. Watch your back." And with that, Saïx stalked off, punching one of the lockers at the end of the hallway along the way.

The taller boy sighed as soon as the group was out of sight, letting the flames go out and hunching a little with the effort of standing up. He turned to Roxas, unsure of what to say, but the boy was seething. "Roxas-"

"What was that," the blond growled.

Axel just looked at him, then down the hall to where he'd last seen Saïx. "What do you mean?"

"I had it under control," he almost shouted. "I didn't **need **your help."

"Oh, right," Axel scoffed, rolling his eyes. "Next time, I'll just stand here and watch while Saïx tortures you. Unless you have something up your sleeve that no one knows about."

The other boy paused, his mouth open to reply but emitting no sound.

"Exactly," Axel retorted, mistaking the silence for assent. "Now, I thought we'd called a truce. I was just tryin' to..." He stopped. Why was he explaining himself to this kid? Clearly, Roxas didn't want his help, whatever he actually needed.

"You know what," the red head snapped. "Forget it. I'll just let you get your ass kicked, next time." With that he turned, trying to move more quickly down the hall, but feeling like he was about to stumble any second now. If Axel hadn't been so tired, so worn to the bone that he felt he might collapse, the small, pale hand that grasped his wrist would likely not have brought the taller boy to a halt the way that it did.

Both boys froze. Axel seemed incapable of remembering a time when he'd given anyone permission to touch him, particularly when it was someone whose touch brought with it that strange tingling feeling he so disliked. He wanted to snap at the shorter blond and rip his arm free from that grasp, but he could not. He blamed it on fatigue, of course, turning his head to look first at the hand, before meeting those blue eyes.

Roxas released him at once, yanking his hand back with such force that someone would've thought Axel had threatened violence if he had not. "Sorry," he said, looking at his shoes, "I just..." The smaller boy looked back up at him, "Did you mean what you said, or were you just trying to get them off of me?"

Axel furrowed his brow trying to remember what he could've said that would have interested Roxas. "About which part," he asked after a moment, not knowing what the blond was referring to.

"About... me being your new sparring partner." The shorter boy's eyes looked so... hopeful.

"No," Axel said automatically. He never, ever sparred with other students. Didn't they all know that by now? Of all people, Roxas... well, he knew about... couldn't he just...?

Those blue eyes refused to meet his green, as the smaller body seemed to deflate even more than it had after having all of the air punched out of it. _Why does this bother me, at all, _Axel wondered. _I don't __**care **__about anyone else. I don't! _The taller boy sighed, took a deep breath, then sighed again.

"That doesn't mean, I mean, we could just..." Axel growled in frustration, not sure how to suggest it, or why he was even going to. "I'm not sure I have enough control for... and I don't know when I'll even have time, but..."

Roxas finally raised his chin, meeting Axel's eyes, and the hope that swam within those watery, blue depths made the red head continue on, despite the feeling of dread that tugged at his exhausted limbs. "We could spar sometime. It'd have to be on our own time, and I don't have much of it."

"That's okay," the smile that had lit up Roxas's face was in his words, too. "So, when can we... I mean-"

"I have this Sunday morning free," Axel admitted, and then bit his tongue; hard. Why had he suggested that? What was he thinking? "Commit it to memory. You can meet me at my dorm, since you seem to know where it is," he added just as the bell tolled, and students started filing into the hallway. Axel growled in frustration as they were suddenly surrounded by the loud students he'd been planning to avoid today.

"I have to go," he finished, turning away from the shorter blond, and walking away without looking back. It made Axel wonder what in the Kingdom was wrong with him. Clearly, he had lost his mind.


	8. The Next Life: Dazed

**Author's Note**: Well, this one took much longer than I'd planned because I was really struggling with it (I might have read some fanfic sporks and was feeling self conscious about this fic as a result of them). Hopefully, it's alright. I worked in a bit about the Saix history into it... yes, it's abrupt, but I didn't have room for a fuller story there. It got awkward, and long... in a bad way. So, I abbreviated it. I hope you like it. Slowly introducing more characters... and Axel and Roxas are starting to get to know each other a little better. I feel like this was more filler than I meant it to be, but there you have it. ^-^

If you read this and like it, please review! Thank you.

Be warned: it's late/early, I'm exhausted, I did not proof this. Proofing and rewrites will come later, when I have time, and am more awake. Please excuse any errors or awkwardness you may find, for now (unless you are a beta reader). Thanks. ^-^

**Word Count**: 3972

**Disclaimer**: Axel/Roxas/Saix/Eraqus... not mine. Square Ennix and Disney rule all that is Kingdom Hearts, I simply grasp their genius plan. ;)

The words are mine, though. Do not use without permission.

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><p>Saturday night arrived more quickly than even Axel would have predicted, and he didn't remember what the next morning held in store for him as he dragged himself back to his dorm room. It was not that he'd already forgotten about his suggestion to Roxas, though it would've been understandable considering the week he'd had, but that the fact that Sunday morning was only a few hours away had not actually occurred to him. He didn't even have the energy to slam his door shut the way he usually did, forgetting to even lock it before falling into his bed, and barely managed to slip off his boots and shirt before sleep consumed him.<p>

_He fell into a dream almost immediately, sinking as though a weight was pressing him down through deep water. The dreams had been getting worse and worse the more exhausted he felt. That same nightmare kept plaguing him, revisiting him over and over. _

_"...but you're too late!" He was angry, hurt, confused. He was angry, yet he still acted with hesitation, putting up a fight but not fighting to win. Why? He hated that feeling in his chest, a constant pain that throbbed more powerfully than each landed blow. Axel wanted those blows, felt his skin rip open beneath his cloak with relief. _Make the pain stop, _he demanded of Roxas. _Cut me open, and end it!

_His old lover, his closest friend, complied. Axel felt himself weakening, loosening, and his body began to disappear; to burn._

_"Let's meet again in the next life..."_

He sat up in his bed, strangling a single word in the back of his throat, and then shouted with surprise at the sight of a form leaning over him. "Flaming fuck," he snapped before gulping down a breath of air. "Are you _trying _to get set on fire?"

"I- oh... sorry," Roxas said, backing quickly away from Axel. The sheepish look, combined with a face that was rapidly changing shades from a soft tan color to a shade somewhere between pink and red, made the red head soften before he consciously realized what he was doing. He was secretly relieved not to have to relive the memories from his dream, again, feeling grateful that the dull ache in his chest was subsiding more quickly than it usually did.

"Ah, didn't mean to snap at you," Axel replied, sighing as he let his body fall back onto his pillows. "Guess I didn't expect anyone to be in my room without letting them in it." This was the second time this semester that had happened, actually, making the older boy wonder whether Lea was handing out keys, or if the lock was faulty. Surely, it could not be that he'd forgotten to lock the damn thing, right? Axel hated surprises, so he always locked his door at night... didn't he?

"I-" Roxas started, then looked back at the door as though it would explain for him. "It was unlocked." He turned back to face Axel, and a slight smile appeared on his embarrassed face. "I was going to just let you sleep, but you sounded like you were... sort of having a nightmare." Ah, so he had forgotten to lock the door; damn. The dreams were messing with his head.

He closed his eyes, and it was at that moment that Axel had two urges simultaneously that did not fit together, at all. The first was to drag Roxas to his bed, cuddling him until they both fell back to sleep, and the second was to stand up and eject the blond violently from his room. The red head really didn't want to spar with the younger boy this morning, not after that dream and the horrible, desperate tugging it forced upon his chest. Maybe he could explain to Roxas that he was just tired, and ask him to wait...

_No_, came the stubborn thought before Axel could even consider the option further. _No, just because Roxas knew about the fainting did not mean that he had to know about the weakness. __**No!**_

Tensing his muscles to press himself into a sitting position made the older boy grit his teeth to stop the groan that wanted to force its way up his throat, and he decided to roll to the edge of his bed to make things easier on himself, instead.

"No nightmare," he finally responded, as he stood. "I've been dreaming about, uh, sparring a lot lately. That's all."

That was believable, right? He'd been doing practically nothing but sparring for weeks, and his trainers didn't seem to have any plans to let up on him anytime soon. Axel didn't know how he was expected to keep up with this, but he sure as hell was going to stay on his damned feet in front of these assholes. Collapsing, or any other demonstrated form of weakness, was not an option.

So, he stood, glancing up at Roxas before trying to remember where he'd thrown his coat and boots the previous night. "Uh, you're welcome to sit while I look for clothes," he offered, feeling a little awkward as he gestured to the bed.

It had been a while since anyone other than Lea had been in his room, and Axel was feeling a little self-conscious about the mess it was in. Not that he cared one way or the other, usually. Lea, for example, could trip over whatever was on the floor for all Axel cared, because he should expect danger in this room. Roxas was a little different, though the older boy wasn't entirely sure he wanted to even contemplate why just then.

The other boy sat down on the edge of the bed, and eyed Axel in a way the red head tried to ignore. The second the older boy caught Roxas's gaze though, the blond's face flushed, and he turned rather quickly to look at the rest of the room. The red head decided to forget about that for now, and concentrate, instead, on finding his clothes, which were around there somewhere. Surely, he couldn't have done more than toss them to one side of the bed last… _aha_!

His coat, shirt, and boots from the day before were laying on the floor near his guest's feet, which he lunged for trying to avoid more eye contact until he at least had a shirt on. He wasn't sure why that bothered him. Axel made to pull the black tank over his head, but caught a whiff of it and stopped. He'd had two training sessions the previous day, and man, oh man, did it smell. He couldn't wear that one.

Tossing the smelly thing in the pile of clothes that were beyond recovery without a wash, Axel began the search for a fresh one. He didn't like folding clothes, but for once he was wishing he'd stuck the damn things in the drawers where they belonged. Did he have to fold them to do that?

It reminded him a bit of the last time he'd had a guest other than Lea in his room, though it was a memory Axel wished he could've left unexamined for at least a while longer.

_"Saïx, what are you doing," Axel had asked the first time his boyfriend had beaten some smaller kid just for the fun of it. Not that the red head cared about the suffering of the nameless student, but some of the things that had been said had hit a bit close to home. He'd never admit it to anyone, but it reminded him too much of the beginning of his first year at the school. _

_"What do you mean," Saïx had asked. "I'm just following in Xemnas's footsteps. He did appoint __**me**__ as leader." _

_"That's only 'cause you were the oldest one left," Axel smirked, rolling his eyes. _

_Saïx didn't think that was so funny. "Except for you," he'd retorted angrily. "He didn't appoint __**you**__." _

_"No," Axel sighed, "he wouldn't've. I told him I was done." _

_Saïx looked at him sharply. "You what?" _

_"I quit," Axel said. "Would've done it earlier, but..." He shrugged, giving the other boy a slightly apologetic grin. They both knew he'd only joined because Saïx had pushed him to. _

_Saïx just looked at him. "Wh- You didn't tell me?" _

_"You weren't the person I needed to tell," Axel said. "And I didn't want you talkin' me out of it." He reached for Saïx's hand, "I'm s-" But Saïx yanked it out of reach, glaring at Axel. _

_"I get it," he said, turning to leave. "Whatever, Axel. You were just the freak that needed protection. We don't need you." _

"_Freak," Axel growled. The word had started to amuse him coming from anyone else, but the way Saïx had said it made it the insult that others had meant it to be. He felt his body heating up, his blood beginning to boil, but this boy knew his warning signs too well. He was already pulling the door open, and stepping through it before the red head could fully react. _

"_You heard me, Freak," Saïx continued. "Stay the hell away from me." With that he slammed the door behind him, leaving Axel to vent his rage on the walls of his room. _

The scorch marks were still visible on the far wall, though he'd since hung a few posters over the whole thing in a lazy attempt to cover it up, and the older boy wondered if Roxas could see them, wondering what he'd think if he did.

As Axel glanced in the direction of the burn marks by the door, the color red, his favorite, drew his eye, revealing to him the location of his clean clothes. "Yes," he hissed, snatching the red shirt from the top of the pile, and pulling it over his head as quickly as he could manage. Feeling instantly more comfortable, he turned to join the younger boy on the edge of his own bed, and, after sitting down, began pulling on his socks and boots.

"So, where to," Axel asked as he finished tying up his shoes. It was going to be incredibly interesting to spar with a new partner while he was this out of it, but the red head was kind of looking forward to getting to know the younger boy better, despite his normal feelings towards other students. This might, actually, be sort of fun.

"What," Roxas asked, seeming as though he'd been pulled back from some daydream. "Oh, I just figured we could use the training platform?"

"Sure, kid," Axel replied, smirking at the annoyance that flashed across Roxas's face upon hearing the word 'kid.' Standing, the red head began to pull on his coat, but the clinking sound of metal on metal made him pause. He pulled his Chakrams out of the inside pockets, and eyed them for a moment. "Well," he said, setting them on the bed a bit regretfully, "we won't be needing these."

"Wh-what," Roxas said, obviously confused. "Why not?"

"Why not," Axel mocked. "You spar with wooden weapons, don't you? Have they even _started _training you on metal, yet?"

"What? Yes," Roxas said, defiantly.

Axel laughed, "Don't lie to me. You're not allowed to till at least next year!"

"Fine," he snapped, "but I already... Uh…" It was at that time that Axel noticed the glint of light off of a shiny, silver edge at Roxas's side. He had brought a metal weapon _with _him.

"Fine, you can use metal," he chuckled, "and _I'll _use wood."

"But," Roxas looked alarmed at this. "I could hurt you..."

"Ha, unlikely," the red head scoffed. Then, before the blond could interrupt, Axel added, "Wood is safer."

Roxas growled at that. "But you use metal all the time," he argued, waving his hands in the direction of the Chakrams Axel had just pulled from his pockets.

"Yes, and the risk I take is my own... I'm not gonna risk hurting someone else." It was actually really strange of him to care, when it came to this. What Axel really meant was, _I'm not gonna risk hurting you_, but he would **not **say that out loud. Why **did **he care, anyway?

"I thought you were different," Roxas said, after a sigh that Axel could only describe as exaggerated.

The red head rolled his eyes. "You want to know why I'm arguing this?" Roxas, who had dropped his chin so that his eyes were angled down to the floor, turned his head to look back up at Axel. The taller of the two pulled off his coat, and, sitting down beside Roxas after setting his coat on the bed, turned to lifted his right arm for the blond to admire, before pointing at every scar he had with his left. "This is what could happen if you use metal. Got it memorized?"

It was as if the younger boy had actually not noticed them before. He gasped, as though it was completely shocking to see imperfect skin, and lifted his left hand, reaching out as if to run his fingers across Axel's skin. The older boy pulled away, and rolled up his shirt to show the worst one. The time he had actually burned someone else had been an accident, and the scar across his own ribs was the only remaining explanation as to why it had happened in the first place. "It's not something to take lightly, and I was really lucky that time; could've killed myself."

The younger boy let his eyes widen for a moment before Axel could push his shirt back down, and he looked into Axel's eyes with a surprisingly worried look on his face. The worry simmered and then died, though, leaving defiance to burn alone behind Roxas's blue eyes, again, "Yea, well…" He paused, and turned away from Axel. "I'm more careful."

"Ha! I bet you are," Axel laughed. "We'll use metal when I'm sure you can block. I'd rather not kill you on accident. Alright?" " He elbowed Roxas in the ribs, so the other boy would know that the words were not meant as an insult.

The elbow to the ribs was something he did to Lea when his friend was being a pain the ass. It was casual, and normal; nothing spectacular or out of the ordinary. It was one of the simplest and most innocent gestures he could have possibly given. Yet, the moment that he touched Roxas, Axel felt a shock reverberate throughout his entire body. It was as though the playful gesture had actually been something more to him, and he immediately felt a desire to have that contact, again.

Roxas seemed surprised by it, too, because he met Axel's eyes, falling silent for a long moment before responding. "Yea," he finally answered. "Okay."

The world seemed to shift as they looked at each other; unfocusing and tilting as though something had fallen out of place just then. The colors altered their levels, seeming both brighter and duller than before. The whole world fell out from beneath him before righting itself, again. In one moment, everything had changed, but Axel wasn't quite sure how it had happened, what had caused it, or why.

It was the older boy who broke eye contact first. "Okay then," he said, shattering the silence in the room. "Let's, uh…"

"Right," Roxas replied, jumping up almost too quickly, while Axel was still turning to reach for the coat he'd set beside him. When the green eyes turned back in search of his blond companion, the younger boy was already opening his door to lead the way out. Was it discomfort that sent him so quickly on his way, or eagerness to fight? Either way, Axel felt a little crestfallen. It was as though Roxas hadn't noticed how completely everything had changed for him, and for some inexplicable reason that idea hurt Axel.

He followed, however, determined to both keep his word, and stuff that uncomfortable feeling down as far as he could manage. Today was going to be about sparring, and, apparently, there was a teacher inside of him that was just dying to get out into the open.

His long strides had him beside Roxas in just a few steps, having quickly locked his door behind him, and they were on the training platform before much time had passed. The silent walk gave Axel a bit more time to secure whatever strange feelings he had just been plagued with down deep inside of him, and he tossed the wooden Chakrams into the air as he waited for the young blond to warm up.

These wooden weapons were weak, and off balance; Axel could feel it. They weren't right, at all, whereas at least the metal ones were more balanced even if they felt completely wrong in his hands. These, he knew, could not take the heat he needed to fully control them, but they were safe. Why did that matter to him so much? He needed not to hurt Roxas so much that he'd actually chosen these things, and argued a case for them despite the fact that he yelled at his own teachers whenever they tried to force him to use them. This had to be some sort of test, and he had just failed it, Axel knew it.

"Whenever you're ready," Axel spoke up, trying to make his voice nonchalant and lazy. However, the blue eyes that jumped directly up to meet his made his chest do strange things just then, and the red head felt an odd need to take a deep breath and raise his chin in response to this.

There was a moment of hesitation from Roxas, who seemed content to look at Axel for a moment before nodding his consent. "I'm ready," he said, that seemingly ever-present determination lighting those blue eyes.

Axel felt himself smile, as he widened his stance, and assumed a position that readied his weapons for release. Then, he bent his elbow and quickly flung it forward, releasing the first weapon directly at Roxas's chest. The smaller boy inhaled sharply, raising his sword just a moment too late, and only partially blocking the strike. It caught him across the side of his face, before Axel called it back, catching it smoothly in his right hand, and pausing to look at Roxas. The smaller boy looked surprised, as though he hadn't expected to get hit or perhaps hadn't expected Axel to attack right off the bat like that.

The older boy took one step forward and asked, "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," snapped Roxas. "I'm ready."

He wanted to point out that had his weapons been metal like the blond had wanted, that would have been the end of their little sparring session, but instead Axel just paused before adding, "Don't hesitate during a fight. That could finish you."

As the younger year nodded, he stepped towards Axel, concentration written across his face. The red head countered with a step of his own, and saw the swing coming before the younger boy actually took it. He stepped aside, countering with a left handed attack, that Roxas brought his sword up just in time to block.

Then it really began. Roxas countered, and Axel blocked. Axel countered, and Roxas blocked. Both were stepping in response to the other's movements, like a dance, and Axel was leading it. The blond fought on the defensive, never taking his eyes from his elder's torso lest he be taken off guard by an attack he hadn't anticipated. The red head, for his part, was feeling energized, for despite his fatigue every movement felt as though it was in time to some hidden song. It was part of what he loved about fighting this way, and there was no stopping him until…

Seeing the advantage, Axel took it, and in one swift movement spun into a crouch and reached out with his right arm, knocking Roxas's feet from beneath him and sending the smaller blond boy to the ground. The metal sword came lose, clattering to the ground, and a loud 'humph' escaped through the fallen boy's lips.

Axel kicked the other boy's weapon aside, and planted his feet on either side of Roxas's fallen body, leaning over him. "I win," he said with a wink. "What's my prize?"

There was a moment of anger in the other boy's eyes, and Axel had expected Roxas to try to knock him aside in an attempt to reach for his blade. However, what he said seemed to confuse the smaller boy, because where once anger had burned so hotly now shown with confusion, instead. The blond boy blinked blue eyes at him, and then, as though he'd just thought of something, blushed furiously red.

Now it was Axel's turn to blink in confusion, but before he could think anything of it a deep, gravelly voice interrupted them both. "Axel, I told you to rest! What do you think you're doing?"

Both boys jumped, the taller straightening automatically to the sound of his mentor's voice, and leaving Roxas to scramble quickly to his feet, reaching for the metal sword he wasn't supposed to be using yet with the intent to hide it.

"Uh," Axel floundered. "Just showing my, uh, friend here some tricks, Sir. Nothing-" But the old man cut him off.

"When I say rest, son, I mean rest!" He didn't even look at Roxas as he reproached his pupil, and the red head felt unwanted color heating his face as he nodded his assent.

"Yes, sir," he mumbled, dropping his eyes as the old man eyed him. They stood there like that for a long moment before the old man nodded, turning to go. Axel raised his head and glowered at his mentor's back, clenching his fists around the flimsy wooden weapons in his hands, and taking a long, deep breath. The last time he had lost his temper with the old man had been an unpleasant experience. Though it irked him to even think it the older boy did not really want a repeat of that humiliation, especially not while Roxas was present to witness it.

"And tell your friend to put that shiny new toy back where he found it," Master Eraqus said without even turning his head as he left.

They watched the old man go, feeling tense as though he might turn at any moment and reprimand them some more. Once he was out of sight though, both boys released a sigh almost simultaneously, and turned, each meeting the other's gaze. It was apparently time to call it a day, but from the burning behind Roxas's eyes Axel could tell that this would not be the last time they sparred if the blond had anything to say on the matter. There was a desire to win smoldering beneath the surface of the smaller boy, and the older boy's win from moments before had only served to stoke the flames.

"Well," Axel said, returning to his usual self and puffing out his chest. "Next time we'll just have to do this somewhere more discreet. That is," he paused, his lips lifting into a wicked grin, "if you think you can handle being beaten, again."

Roxas huffed, anger seeming to be his first reaction, but then he paused. Looking at Axel, he too grinned, before countering with, "You caught me off-guard that first time. I'll be the one standing over you next time. You'll see."

Axel smirked doubtfully at that, but he raised his hand and smacked the smaller boy's shoulder, resting it there for a bit as they began to head away from the training platform. And the red head thought in this moment that perhaps he wasn't losing his mind, after all.


	9. The Next Life: Confusion

**Author's Note: **About a month after the last one... this scene has been sitting in my head begging to come out for months now. So here you are. I wrote it in somewhat of a rush over about a three day period, so I'm still working on rewrites. Hopefully, it's alright despite that. Part two planned for 8/13. We shall see how that goes. ;)

**Word Count**: 2325

**Disclaimer**: As previously noted, the characters are not mine. They belong to Square Enix and Disney.

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><p><em>Axel's heart was pounding out of his chest, and his breathing was shallow. He was chasing Roxas through the trees, which were growing thicker around them with every step in their intended directions. It wasn't much of a chase, but then it never was when the red head's long legs were involved. He reached out and grasped the thin, slightly tanned wrist of the blond boy he had been pursuing, and pulled Roxas around to face him. The tearstains trailing from his blue eyes nearly broke Axel's heart, and without letting go of the thin wrist he reached a black gloved hand up to wipe those hated tears away. What had he done? <em>

_"Don't go," Axel whispered. "__**I**__ would miss you. Stay... with me." _

_Roxas hesitated, but before he could answer one way or the other, Axel leaned down, releasing the tanned wrist only to take the blond's face in both of his hands, and press their lips together. There was a pause, a moment of hesitation on the part of the blond, during which the taller boy could imagine shock pulsing through the smaller body. _

_Then, hands were grasping onto his wrists, squeezing, and holding. What the red head had anticipated would be Roxas pushing him away, putting an end to the kiss, turned into something deeper. Axel gasped, opening his mouth, and feeling his friend do the same. They kissed one another passionately, the red head's hands trailing from a delicate chin down to a smooth neck, and over a thin chest with Roxas's hands still grasping his wrists. _

_When had that tree appeared behind Roxas? Neither boy had felt their own footsteps leading up to it, but now the taller boy found himself pushing the blond up against it. "Stay with me," he gasped out between mouthfuls of Roxas, and he felt the other boy's lips pause before moving against his. _

_"I..."_

Axel didn't notice the alarm the had woken him up for several long seconds of consciousness, listening instead to his heart, which was pounding in his ears, and remembering the end of that dream. He took a deep shuddering breath, and tried to ignore the burning sensation in his chest as the idea of any part of that dream occurring in real life sent an interesting sensation throughout his entire body.

How long had he wanted to kiss Roxas? Did he? Axel's head was spinning as he latched onto the dream that would've slipped away without his mental review. He didn't have dreams like that; not even when he was dating… well, no. He really had never dreamt things like that with anyone before. He'd just **done **things like that before. What did that mean?

He sat up in his bed, running his fingers through his wild hair, as he thought about what it could mean, then dropped his hand and shook his head. It meant nothing. He was reading way too much into his own dreams lately. Besides, why on earth would Roxas leave here? This was his school! He couldn't just … leave, right? Or had it been one of those _other _dreams; the ones from… before? He couldn't figure it out.

He shook his head, again. Why did it even matter what he felt for him, or if the blond boy left? Axel froze, feeling a strange sensation, as though ice was being poured into his chest. Strangely, he realized now that he would probably have to admit, at least to himself, that it did matter if Roxas left. They'd only really been sparring together for a a little over a month now, but it seemed as though the year and more that they'd known of each other was beginning to crash down onto Axel.

Roxas and him had been getting closer lately, yes, but… they'd been becoming more friends, he'd thought. They'd been talking to each other when they met in the hallways, and sparring on weekends until they couldn't move, anymore. They'd been chatting more, and getting to know one another better. _When had that turned into attraction_, Axel wondered, _or had it always been there?_

That tugging in his chest that had begun since the very first day Roxas had arrived seemed to be making up for lost time. Like a piercing through his heart that had been attached to a chain and clipped to Roxas's pocket, Axel felt as though he was being drawn forcefully towards the younger boy, whether or not he wanted to be. It was a painful sort of sensation, but oddly not one he wanted to rid himself of. At least… not yet.

The knock at the door made him jump, and Axel looked in the direction of the offending sound for a long moment, trying to recall what day it was to help him make a guess as to who in the kingdom might be knocking at this hour.

He must've paused long enough for it to seem like he hadn't heard it though, because the knock sounded, again. This time it was slightly louder, but a little tentative, at the same time. It was as though the person on the other side wasn't sure if he wanted to wake Axel up. _Well, it wasn't Lea then_, the red head thought, rolling his eyes to himself at the thought of his best friend's early morning abuses. Getting out of bed slowly, he felt bruised and sore all over, Axel shuffled his way to the door, and opened it just as the person outside of it was turning to go.

"Oh," Roxas said, spinning back around. "You're awake."

"Well, you did knock on my door… twice," Axel responded, smirking at the sheepish look the blond gave in response to that. "Is it Sunday, already," he added, shaking his head at his poor memory. "Sorry," he started, but Roxas was already shaking his head.

"No," Roxas interrupted, putting his hand out as though to touch Axel's arm but stopping just short of it. "No, don't apologize. You look exhausted. Maybe you should get some more sleep today."

Axel thought about that, seriously considering it for a moment before realizing that would probably mean that Roxas would be leaving. "Uh," he stalled, unsure of what to do here. Green eyes flicked down to blue ones, considering. "Would you be disappointed if we just… uh, hung out this morning, instead? I am beat."

The blond looked down, as though considering, before returning that gaze. "No, I wouldn't be disappointed," he said. There was an underlying tone to those words that Axel did not understand just then, but he blamed that dream and his extreme fatigue for making him see and hear things that probably weren't even present in the conversation.

"Excellent," he added, holding open the door for Roxas before turning back to his bed, which was the only seat in his room.

In light of the embarrassment he'd felt the first time the younger blond had shown up at his door, Axel had taken to wearing tanks and comfortable t-shirts to bed to avoid being half-naked in front of Roxas, because it actually made him uncomfortable to be undressed around him for some reason.

Today, he'd managed to pull on a black tank, the same color as his gloves, and a matching pair of shorts. Usually, it wouldn't be all that comfortable for him to sleep that way, but he'd been so exhausted lately that it didn't much matter how or even where he slept, anymore. He wondered when his training sessions would get easier, but until then sleep would be the easiest thing he ever accomplished when he could get it. They both sat down on his bed, and glanced at each other before quickly looking away, again.

"So," Axel started, but paused when Roxas looked up at him expectantly. He was half tempted to just say 'screw it,' and spar with the short blond anyway, despite how tired he felt, just to end the awkward moment. Why hadn't he thought this through more before asking Roxas to just… stay?

"How're your training sessions going," he asked, and then winced. That was lame and even he knew it, but, to his relief, Roxas smiled as though he appreciated the question.

"Better," the blond responded, then paused. "Better since I've been working with you," he amended, dropping his head to look at his hands.

Axel sighed. "I'm sorry," he began, but Roxas interrupted him before he could finish.

"No, I didn't mean it like…" he trailed off raising his hands, palms toward Axel as though asking for him to wait until the blond explained. "I meant that I'm grateful that you, I don't know, took pity on me, and started working with me, at all." Those blue eyes met his green, and began to shine with some unknown light. "Thank you."

The red head felt his face grow hot. Had it just been pity that had led him to help the younger boy? It had felt like something deeper, something more center to the very core of himself, something that was entirely unrecognizable. Not pity, but something…else. He shook his head, both at himself and at the words that Roxas had just spoken.

"It's not… a big deal," he said, taking a deep breath in the middle of his sentence. The deep breath turned into a jaw-cracking yawn, and he felt fatigue hit him across the head like a whirlwind. The feeling of it must've made him sway because the next thing he knew a hand was gripping his arm tightly just before another came into contact with his back.

"Whoa," Roxas said. "You okay?"

"Yea," Axel replied, still unable to see straight. "I'm fine." He tried to focus on his companion, getting first the blond, spiky hair to come into focus, then the slightly tanned skin that was easily darker than his own, and finally those blue eyes. They were the color of ocean water, not quite clear or murky blue, but bright like the sun shown on them at all times. "I'm just tired," he managed to finish, though he'd mostly forgotten why he was talking at all.

Those eyes had been filled with tears in his dream, brimming over with pain. The very idea of that caused a painful tugging somewhere deep within the red head's chest, making him feel lost for a moment. Neither had broken the gaze, but Roxas began to move. Axel was clearly taller than him, even when they sat like this. So when the blond moved, he turned, placed the knee closest to Axel onto the bed, and leaned very, very close to the red head's face. He could feel Roxas's breath touching his skin, and was unable to make himself move towards or away from the other boy.

What did he want here? He hadn't even imagined of the possibility that Roxas might share any sort of interest, nor had Axel tested the waters in any way to find out if the other boy even had a preference. What was he doing? Was he really trying to- to lean in for a kiss? Roxas searched for something in Axel's green eyes, looking at both of them as though asking for something before he began to lean closer.

Axel jumped, an involuntary reflex that he regretted as soon as he felt himself doing it. _No_, he thought, wishing with everything in him that he could take it back before he even finished standing up. _No!_ He was in shock, staring at Roxas unable to comprehend what had just happened. Had he ruined everything by being surprised that the blond wanted… well, what? He had wanted to kiss Axel, and Axel had wanted him to. Why had it surprised him when the blond actually tried to do it?

"I- I'm sorry," Roxas said, looking up at Axel before turning to leave.

"Wait, Roxas! I didn't mean-" the red head said. He took a step towards him and raising one hand as though imploring him to stay, but though the blond paused at the door, turning to meet his eyes, he shook his head and continued out the door anyways with an expression remarkably like the one he'd seen in his dream last night. He felt something in his chest tighten and then break at the sight, and, before he could take another step, Axel felt as though all of the wind had left him.

Clutching at his chest, he froze in place unable to breath properly. It was as though Roxas had taken all of the air in the room with him when he left, and Axel felt himself gasping for air. What was this?

After a moment, fighting with his own body, he felt as though he could move again, if not breath properly, and he made to go after Roxas only to hear the outer door to his dormitory slam. Growling deep in the back of his throat and thinking that he was always screwing something up with the people he liked, Axel shoved his boots onto his feet, grabbed his coat, and swung it on as he walked out of his room. He wasn't entirely sure that he wanted to chase Roxas down, but he knew that he didn't want the other boy to leave him now. He _knew _that.

Apparently it was his job to bring Roxas back every time the younger boy ran away from him, and Axel would do it gladly if it meant eventually the blond would stay. He wasn't sure when he decided that exactly, but the thought was there, all the same. He'd finally given in, and now he had to know if Roxas felt the same way that he had for over a year now. His door slammed shut behind him, and he sprinted out the door, hoping his hesitation hadn't given his quarry so much of a head-start that Axel wouldn't find him.


	10. The Next Life: Confusion II

**Author's Note: **Happy AkuRoku Day! I am honestly a little unsure about this chapter. It's… not how I originally pictured this scene happening because I did this via a writing prompt that was chosen by someone else, so I really hope you like how it turned out as much as I do. ^-^

Also, if you're reading this, please review. Feedback and critiques, compliments and criticisms are not only welcome, but necessary so that I can see what I'm doing right and what I'm struggling with. And thank you so much for reading.

**Word Count**: 2371

**Disclaimer**: The characters in this story belong to someone else, I have simply been unable to get them out of my head. The story, however, is my creation. Do not use without permission. Thank you.

* * *

><p>Sprinting down the dormitory hallway towards the door that Roxas left through, Axel felt a new determination build inside of him. <em>Don't lose him<em>, it shouted at him, and the red head wouldn't… not if he could help it. When he finally reached it, Axel threw the outer door open, and froze, breath fogging up in front of him as it left his lips. Everywhere he looked was blanketed in white, and little tufts of cold, cottony-looking flakes drifted down towards the already frozen ground as though determined to make his path to the runaway Roxas as difficult as was possible.

As he paused, glaring at the snow from the open doorway, two figures in the distance caught his eye: one heading for the trees and the other for the school. He sprinted after the figure that was currently disappearing in the trees without thinking, assuming that his dream had been a prediction of sorts that meant he was supposed to chase the blond there. Axel felt his boots sink into the snow, and yanked the other out of the shin high powder as soon as one began to crash in. Then the figure in the trees paused to look back at him, and Axel skidded to a halt. The body language of that one did not remind him in any way of Roxas.

He froze, whipping his head towards the figure he had ignored, and that's when the tugging in his chest really began to feel painful. It pulled, reeling him in in the opposite direction, making up for lost time by pulling at his bellybutton through his spine in an almost painful way. How could he not have felt it before?

He turned, thanking the flaming stars he hadn't made it too far out of his way, and sprinted headlong towards the school, after Roxas.

~o*o*o*o*o~

Roxas couldn't see where he was going. The tears that had begun to form while in Axel's dorm room, were cold and blurring his vision. He stumbled through the snow, pushing his way past any obstacles that got in his way, and finally feeling heat hit his face as a door fell shut behind him. Continuing to move was all he felt capable of doing as he wiped furiously at his eyes, looking around to see where he'd ended up before letting out a weak scoff at himself. _The school. _Well, he'd intended on coming here with Axel today anyways, so his body must have dragged him in this direction out of habit.

What an idiot he had been. Sure, Axel had been nice to him, teaching him the sparring tricks and secrets he knew, and turning Roxas into the kind of fighter that actually looked like he belonged at the same level as some of his other classmates for once. The older boy had become kind and concerned; a friend even. Why had Roxas gone and messed the whole thing up?

He'd always felt that tugging, that instinct; that urge to just press up to his toes and kiss the taller boy. That didn't mean he had to finally do it, though! Did it?

He kicked his foot out, and felt it connect with something hard, a metallic crash echoing down the hallway at the same moment that the pain began to reverberate up his leg. The short blond boy hopped in place for a moment, grabbing at his foot, but he overbalanced. His hand broke his fall, scraping on the concrete at the same moment his knee hit.

He sat there stunned for a moment, ignoring the stinging sensations in his hand and knee. Then, sighing to himself, he slumped, not even bothering to get up. Roxas could feel the tears that were heating his eyes, wanting to crawl out of his tear ducts, flood his eyes, and flow down his cheeks; he embraced them. Pulling his knees into his chest and wrapping his arms around them, he let the hot, salty stream flow, feeling his limbs shake. His body ached from exertion that had nothing at all to do with his physical being, but from something deep within him.

He felt his body hunch into itself, and he buried his face in his knees, using them for support as he felt the hot droplets begin to soak into his pants. It was strange to feel his tears gathering support for one another within the fabric of his cold blue jeans while he sat there alone, but the more he cried the better he seemed to feel. It was as though an elastic band inside of him had been stretched too far, and was now slowly being released into its proper elasticity.

That was when the door at the end of the hall swung open…

~o*o*o*o*o~

It surprised him how hard it was to run in snow. Axel felt like he was running through water, though maybe it was the weariness of his body that was making it difficult for him. Whatever the reason, it didn't matter. He needed to get to Roxas. He had to show the younger boy that he did care, and that, well… what? All of this was new to him.

The last person Axel had fallen for had been someone he thought to be one of his closest friends, and that friend had in fact shared the attraction. At the time, he'd counted himself lucky that Saix had wanted to kiss him back; it wasn't until later that he began to wish he hadn't ruined his oldest friendship with his desire to press his mouth against someone else's. They had both changed, it was true, but that didn't make Axel regret his past any less.

When he finally reached the door where these other footsteps led, he hesitated for a moment, catching his breath in gasps and wondering: _was he about to ruin a second friendship with his mouth?_

But no, it had been Roxas who had made the first move, not him. And was it fair of him to leave the blond hanging when he felt the same way? That was, Axel knew he'd wanted the other boy to kiss him, and that he'd wanted to return the kiss. He also knew that he'd grown steadily more attracted to his new sparring partner the more he had gotten to know the blond. Was that all that they needed here, or was he missing something vital?

He placed his palm on the door, considering. The pounding in his chest had almost slowed to its normal pace, and his breathing was no longer feeling labored like it had when he'd first reached the outer door. No, in place of these feelings was something deep within him, hooked behind his naval, and piercing him with a sort of inner pain as it pulled him to go through the door and get to Roxas.

As he embraced that pain all of his doubts seemed to fall away, and he swung the door open forcefully, searching the way inside for his partner. To his surprise, he didn't have to look far, for there on the floor only a few paces inside was Roxas, tears dripping from his eyes. Axel's brow knitted together as he looked on. He hadn't realized how much a simple involuntary reaction, one he'd had no control over, could hurt his new friend.

Raising his hand towards Roxas and taking a step towards him was involuntary, he opened his mouth to speak, but the blond turned his head sharply away from him before the reaction could be seen.

"Roxas," Axel said, taking a few more steps towards him.

The smaller boy shook his head, turning to look up at the red head with shining, blue eyes. "Just… go away," he said, his words somewhat muffled.

Axel looked at him, feeling his heart break all over again. "You know, I can't," he said, unable to speak much louder than a whisper. His long legs carried him quickly to his partner.

"Fine," Roxas replied, rising to his knees. "**I'll **g…" But Axel was already there, placing a hand on the blond's shoulders, and leaning towards him.

"Roxas," he whispered, making the blond boy pause to look up at him. "Listen," he finished, kneeling down in front of the younger boy. "I didn't… you surprised me. It wasn't a rejection, just… a physical reaction. **No one **has touched me in…" He paused, unsure if he really wanted to go into that now. "I didn't expect it."

Roxas's brow tightened, and his blue eyes shown with even more tears, though strangely, it didn't seem as though they were tears of sadness. He looked up at Axel like he was relieved, before dropping his head, and letting the wetness flow from his eyes, again.

Axel looked around, at a loss as to what to do here, before turning helplessly back to Roxas. He opened his mouth, closed it, opened it again, then shrugging to no one in particular he raised his other hand. It wavered in the air for a moment as he tried to decide what the best thing to do here was, but, taking a deep breath, he placed that hand under the blond's chin, tilted it up, and used his thumb to wipe away the tears it could reach.

"I don't understand why you're upset," he admitted, looking into those deep, blue eyes. His eyebrows knitted together, again, as Roxas just shook his head, a tiny smile starting to raise the corners of his mouth. Some tension that was still in the other boy's shoulders loosened beneath Axel's hand, and the smaller of the two let out a breath, the flow of tears dwindling. He looked away from Axel, shaking his head harder, the hint of a grin beginning to turn into the real thing and lifting at his cheeks.

"I," he said, beginning to chuckle, "am an idiot." He shook his head even harder, before turning to look up at Axel. His small laugh died, echoes of it living on in the corridor around them as he shook his head, again.

For his part, Axel wanted to smile with him, but he couldn't get an idea out of his head now, and it was making his stomach squirm uncomfortably. Instead, he just shook his head, pausing.

"No," he finally said in a quiet voice. "You're not an idiot." As his words left his mouth, his upper body began to lean forward, his face less than an inch or so from Roxas's and closing. Without another word between them, the older boy pressed his lips to the blond's, his long fingers still holding the other boy's chin.

Roxas froze, stiffening, and Axel felt his own body tense, fearing that the other boy hadn't actually wanted to kiss him, after all. The hands that grasped at his face a moment later, pulling him even closer, told the red head that he had assumed wrong, however. Roxas held him there, pressing their mouths together, and as Axel opened his mouth, the blond followed suit, tasting him as he tasted Roxas. The older boy felt his body heating up, but then so was the skin beneath his fingers.

Then, at what seemed to be the same instant, both boys closed their mouths together. Leaning away, they opened eyes neither remembered closing, and looked into the other's. Both were gasping for air, looking at the other as though trying to figure out if this were a dream, or if they were both, indeed, conscious of this moment.

Roxas smiled first, inhaling as his face turned a bright shade of red. He leaned away first, and Axel slowly followed suit, smiling at the color the blond's face had turned, completely unaware of the heat coursing through his own cheeks; it was so normal for him.

Then, after a long moment of silence, Roxas raised one hand to scratch at the back of his head. "So," he said, still keeping his voice low so as not to ruin the moment. "Did you, uh… still wanna just hang out," he asked, shifting strangely.

Axel tilted his head slightly, to look at Roxas with one raised eyebrow. "No, I followed you in here across the snow because I wanted to go back to bed," he said, sarcasm practically dripping from his tongue causing the color in the blond's cheeks to deepen. He put a hand to Roxas's face, the corners of his mouth lifting into a small smile that the blond seemed to just stare at for a long moment. "Why," Axel finally asked.

After a momentary pause, the blond blinked, inhaled, and replied. "Well, uh…the snow. Outside. It looks pretty untouched, so far. W-what do you say to a, um… like a… snow date. Before everyone else wakes up, and … ruins it?"

There was an insecurity to the blond's words, as though, despite this show of mutual affection, he might still be rejected. However, there was also a sort of mischievous glimmer in the Roxas's eyes towards the end there that would have made Axel more interested in snow than he'd ever been, even without this new and exciting thing between them. Besides, it wasn't like he could really get cold.

He responded with a lopsided smile that rose to his lips with surprising ease considering how little those muscles had been used over the past year or so. Rising to one knee, he offered one of his hands to Roxas before pulling them both to their feet. "A snow date," he said, as though to himself. He liked the way those two words sounded together. "Lead the way," he answered, "and I will follow."

After all, he'd followed him here, hadn't he. What were a few more steps when his body was singing the way it was? Roxas grinned, taking Axel's hand and tugging him towards the doors they had both entered separately moments before, a little bounce in his step that the red head could not help but think was endearing. Together, they pulled the doors open, and walked through before swinging them shut, the only evidence of their presence inside of the school hallway being a few scatterings of nearly melted snow.


End file.
